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Rainy
"shes the best at asexualing" - Gundoggycrabwhackas user cold never bothered me. Rainy - also known as Assfur, Queen Rainy, Unhygienic Flirter, Mr. Brightisde, Preppy Furby, Actual Wasteland, Dead Uncle Watson, Christmas Light Official, Snow Day, Zumbah, Pomegranates, President Snow, and Alpha Asexual - is a member of gundoggycrabwhackas. An important member. Probably. Her color is #660099. (This is still under construction. I'm posting it constantly because I feel like I'll lose my progress if I don't - voice - save my work.) History Every great protagonist needs an even greater tragic backstory. This is Rainy's. ''' Early Life' Rainy was raised in Cornfield Hell and nurtured on Sponegbob Squarepants, Aladdin, Webkinz, and apple juice. '2008' In 2008, Rainy was innocently browsing her school's December book fair, completely minding her own business, when she found herself looking deep into the eyes of a certain bear. That bear was in a book, though. There was not a legit bear in the middle of the school, because everyone knows midwestern bears have taken a vow to live on farms and worship corn, like all other midwestern animals. ''I like bears, she thought. Bears are cute. Unfortunately, she lacked money. Fortunately, her friend's grandmother sent her each year with a blank check, and said friend offered to buy her classmates books. Eager young Rainy allowed her friend to buy the her book. (Later, this young lady - who was not Rainy, fuck you, Aqua ''- became a drug dealer, probably to pay off the debt she caused her grandmother by buying books for everyone under the sun.) That Christmas, her mother bought her Warriors books. "They're by the same lady," the mother informed her. ''They're about cats, Rainy thought. I hate cats. And she resolved never to read the vile things. However, a few nights later, Rainy was plagued with a perplexing problem: it was nine-thirty, she had been forced to bed, and she did not want to sleep. Normally, she would read a book, but now she had nothing to read. Except... surely she couldn't read those awful kitty stories? She had too much pride. Except, she didn't actually have too much pride, so she read those awful kitty stories, and her fate was cemented. '2009' Does anyone have proof that 2009 actually happened? No? '2010' A year-and-a-half and countless talking kitty books later, Rainy found herself face-to-face with the glorious warrior cats forums. She spent like three months lurking, because she was a fucking nerd. But at least she was better that those stupid OOTSians. They were snobby. And they didn't understand Warriors. (Seriously, who liked Ivypool?) Finally, on August 11, 2010, at 10:00 PM, she joined. Immediately, she flocked to roleplays - first Clans, then eventually some off-topic ones - but all the while, she frequented OOTS in a vain attempt to shake these stubborn assholes from their horrifically incorrect opinions.In the end, however, she found that they were changing her opinions instead. Slowly but surely, she found her footing as a Warriors fan, and she began to see that these OOTSians weren't actually that ''rude. They were kinda cool. And nothing would ever be the same again. '2011' 2011 saw Rainy befriend the elusive OOTS pack through an adventure to the art forum, a screaming match that ended in an invtiation to Lily's for our young hero, and her aid in the formation of RisingEvilClan. She was instantly accepted. Overnight, she went from a usually-overlooked new member to a member of one of the most elite and exclusive groups on the forums. She was given a place in the OOTS family and everything. The Awesomez were formed, and even though she had hardly been a part of the group for a few days, she was easily confirmed a member. They took her under their wing, and she was blindly grateful. The RisingEvilClan Era lasted about a month, and throughout this turbulent month, Rainy and her newfound companions fought fiercely against their rivals, MegaBoneClan. She learned what it meant to be an OOTSian: to always, always, always fight to and with your friends. Even during fights they caused for fun. Especially during fights they caused for fun. Afterwards, Rainy experienced a momentary lapse of judgment concerning an approaching wedding and claimed the deceased, geneitcally improbably, generally useless cat Redtail. She mostly wanted to be cool. And everyone was totally jealous of her impossibly cool fake cat boyfriend. During April, cat boyfriends - and girlfriends - were the latest craze. She and her friends - including Gingerz, who had recently returned - journeyed to The Cats to fight for their mates. Here she met Aqua while trying to ward the greedy little bitch away from her mother's mate, Ashfur. When May arived, the Awesomez encountered a new enemy. Luna of SavageClan had ventured into OOTS to criticize their "spaminess", and the regulars were enraged. Throughout the late spring and early summer, they were locked fiercely in war. It was intense. Everyone cried like five times. People threatened to leave. The screaming broke records. It was beautiful. Meanwhile, some asshole named JayB turned up and did something to like maybe three people. No one knows what he did, because they were too upset to say, but he was considered a public enemy and sent from Lily's with his tail between his legs. This was never questioned. He was just booted. Summer was also the peak of Ashfur debates. Everyone debated Ashfur. If you were neutral, well, you were just a little bitch that needed to be converted to something. These debates took nothing rational into consideration. Either he was a brokenhearted baby, or he was a raging, ruthless killer. There was no in between. Rainy loved him, because he soothed her emo soul, and she was his daughter. Somehow. The Awesomez encountered some enemies called the Epicz and/or the Tick Tockz. They copied them, or spread rumors, or something. It didn't matter. They were going down. That was the important thing. Somewhere along the line, Rainy decided she hated Hollyleaf more than anyone ever, and the Hollyhate Era began. We do not talk about the Hollyhate Era. It makes historians weep. '2012' In early 2012, Rainy continued her self-appointed reign as Hollyhater Queen, with her loyal subjects Ginz, Aqua, and Starry. She met Rosie when the lame little bitch tried to debate Hollyleaf on the wrong thread. Wow. What a bitch. Later, she decided to introduce her secret obsession. But it was a secret, because she was edgy like that. Throughout the summer of 2012, all OOTSians went from odd, hormonal, and cat-obsessed, to odd, hormonal, and obsessed with whatever else. It was a truly inspirational transformation. They were all cute. I mean, like, super fucking cute. Imagine a pile of puppies; they were cuter than that. Maybe. Rainy also made the wise desicion to divorce Redtail. Many were upset, for Rainy was the best OOTSian, and her romance with Redtail brought light to their lives. But it was not to be. Rainy is the most aromantic thing ever to be born ever, Redtail is dead, and she mostly just wanted his fame and money. In the fall, Rainy vanished for like a month, and probably everyone cried. It was a dark time. Then she came back, and it was super badass. She probably confirmed her obsession, but ''we don't talk about that. Christmas came. Christmas is great. '2013' Rainy & co. left WCF, because the mods were homophobic, cruel rulers, and they needed to claim their independence. WCF slowly withered and died without them. Matthew-Moderator probably still lies awake at night, sobbing into his pillow, missing the people who gave his life reason. And then he probably goes and fucks Mary. Mary-Mod and Matt-Mod forever. They joined MaraPets, which was kinda lame and kinda not. Then Rosie made GDCW. The stars alligned as Rainy clicked the link to their new home. Everything fell into place. This was the result of those endless hours pouring over silly kitty books, the fierce debates, the endless fights, the strange phases. She had done it all to get here. It was a beautiful place. Finally, she had found what she had been looking for all along... a place where she could overuse the word "fuck" without being censored. She was in awe. And they never left. (So far.) '2014' There will probably much discussion of genitals, particularly those of robots. And the fictional characters will suffer. What a wonderful world. God bless. Personality, Interests, Other Trivial Things Rainy is a fucking goddess and that is all you losers need to know. But I am going to tell you more than you need to know, and you are going to deal. Okay, bitch? Okay. 'Personality' Rainy is an independent, intelligent, stubborn ISTP who likes writing melodramatic wiki entries about her adventures on a cat forum for distraught young preteens. 'Interests' One only realizes how boring they truly are when they are asked to describe their interests. And then one realizes that she is boring as fuck. It is truly tragic. 'Other Trivial Things' Rainy is asexual and aromantic and there is not a more asexual aromantic person on this planet. Maybe there is a more asexual aromantic dog. We are not sure yet. Scientists are trying to get answers. She types with grammar. Usually. She is a dying breed.